I took this picture of a water puddle yesterday morning. I had to fight the dogs off of it so that I could capture it before they crushed it’s beauty (they always get in the middle of everything that I do). The joys of having pups that want to be helpful.
I am packing up my office today. I only have two more days left on this assignment, and the new DON starts tomorrow. I have typed up a cheat sheet for her as a quick reference for all the access codes and passwords that she will need to transition into her new role.
I have spent the past week with a mixture of anxiety, sadness, and excitement for the next phase of my career. It brings back memories of leaving my first assignment and the fiasco that ensued. I remember feeling broken hearted and lost when I left there. I have always dreaded “good-byes”, as I have mentioned before, but this one has a cheerfulness to it somehow. Maybe I have gotten better at it (shrug). Or maybe I am so consumed and distracted with the destruction of my camper and everything in it, wondering how I am going to get all the things I need out of it and get them back to Texas (I never found my little diamond earring, so I guess it’s gone forever), along with being displaced at an airbnb for the past two weeks. The final day has not come yet, so maybe I shouldn’t get so comfortable, the sadness and defeat will most likely occur when I drive out of the parking lot for the last time.
I accepted a permanent position back at home. I really haven’t had time to process that yet. I haven’t been home in so long (permanently) that I don’t know what that looks like. There is much uncertainty about that transition. There are days that I am incredibly excited about the prospect. I have ordered seeds and plants to fill my greenhouse back up and I can’t wait to be somewhere long enough to grow things again. I am also excited to be back in my little community that my family has lived in for generations. The facility is only 6 miles from my house and it will be the first time that I have worked so close to home (I always commuted in the past). Then there are days and moments of anxiety, wondering what the new normal will look like and fears that circle around finances (I have always worried about money).
I know I will need to give myself grace and time to adjust. I recognize that I will need to go through my grief process, that accompanies leaving every assignment, before I can fully transition and adapt to the change and before I can fully appreciate the new opportunity.
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